Lonely Quiz

Just now, due to boredom.
I took a lonely quiz where they can measure how lonely we are.
Guess what my marks is??
Well..
I score 35 in that bloody quiz and into extreme loneliness group.
Yeay!! Happy me!!
To be honest,
Yeah I admit that my life is getting boring and boring.
I got no one to talk to
No one to seek comfort
My one and only bff is currently busy with his new life.
And yeah..he has changed.
He still same but different shades of same..
I guess he met new people
Mingle with a whole new different group of human being.
The type that i hate the most.
What can i say..
Its his choice.
And my so called brother has bless me with utmost pain ever..
Truth is my salary has been cut down by 1k which left me with 1k to survive for my next payday.
And by the time i paid the rent and his money that i owe,
I'll left with 50bucks.
I wouldn't be able to pay the utilities bills or even afford myself a taxi ride at night since i don't own a car.
So every morning i walk for few kilometers and same goes every night..
And after he's been so adamant bout me paying him up,
I give up and gave the money and also the pepper spray he bought.
I never begged since I enjoy being an egoistic human being but when i begged,it means that its my last resolution.
I don't even know how to explain how broken i am because of him.
He talk to me like i refuse to pay his money up and make me feels like a beggar. A pest.
Eversince then,
I didn't text him nor reply to his text.
There's nothing left to be said anymore.
And yeah..
Here i am. Alone.

Memoirs

I couldn't stop smiling..
Well I guess this is the side effect of falling in love deeply..
Sweetest guy I ever met and truth to be told us that I melt like putty in his hand..

Gosh...

I still remember vividly last night..
Spending time singing talking laughing with him..

I wish.. I wish I could kiss those lush lips of him...

I wish I could just hold him and caress him..

God... Please help me..

I love him and its irreversible..

Him.

After my failure in my so called relationship.

I never thought I can make myself to be this close with any man.

Especially when somebody left a prominent scar in my heart.

Who am I trying to lie when I thought there will be a guy who love me truly regardless my physical misfortune.

But with him.

I could be me.

The clumsy butterfinger girl.
The terrible body coordination girl.

We spent enormous time together and without him,
I don't know..
I feel so incomplete..
Fragile..exposed..

I can't say this is love..
Not when my so called love ended with a disaster..

Sigh..
Why life has to be so complicated..

Tonight.
As we walked through the rain.
He sang he laugh.
And I feel my life complete by hearing his laughter..

And.. After his long leave..
His vibe towards me has change..
I'm not certain if this is only my feeling and I'm deluding..

But then..
I can see he tend to protect me.
Help me in every way possible.
Even I can see glint of happiness in his eyes when I inform him that I'll be his neighbour.

Did he love me as much as I love him?

I wish I know..

I wish I have the strength..

I doesn't want to lose this friendship..