terrorizing and abusive childhood

just now I've read my classmate blog..

she was talking bout her childhood and how she been abused by whom i did not know..

but then.. i think everyone has their one abusive moment and that's included me..

seriously i'm not saying this just to raised a clueless or mindless sympathy but then..

just telling this to stop some people from consider they having a world war end crisis..

i been born with no one love me.. father who always busy with his girlfriends and mother who busy looking for my step to be father ..

i live all alone watching my friends been love more than enough from their parents...

and yeah... been beaten is always part of my daily routine.. what the fuck man...

not even one second i felt happy in my childhood world but then i still survive without doing any reckless things..

and for me.. since my childhood been terrorize and of course my future also went down to the drain..

it was never become a what to be blame of terrorizing other's world..

though people always mistaken of seeing who i am but still i managed to live this world with or without difficulty..

it was a nightmare watching others with their friends and still i lead this world all alone without anyone to share every single things that happened..

i'm a teenager and indeed i need someone to shared and it's teenager nature of rebellious when no one there to give their attention to them...

and that was me... searching and seeking for attention but then always failed at the end..

till now i having nightmare... nightmare living this world all alone...

and yup.. not even my child and teen world been destroyed but even my love life also ruined just because of my unbearable forgotten past life..

but then, i have to accept what was written for me and struggle to live till the end and hopefully i managed to find someone who truly love me and never left me behind..

i just cant bear to accept another heart broken experience..

i cant to devastated all over again...

when love is not meant for you.. did not ever seek it... let it come willingly to the bottom of your heart..

and let happiness lead it way to ever after and eternal happiness...

again life is a mystery that we have to lived in and it's not a problem for us to be solved coz all the question have been answered and been solved by Allah and it just matter of time for us to revealed...