Soul Counterpoint

its been a while since i last wrote here.
something has struck and injured my heart. badly.
happened and literally kill my worn out soul.

took almost a month for me.
to realise that she can read all this fucked up life of mine.

say all kind of bullshit to me.
call me raccoon and stuff.
comment.
condemn.
but its her who i pity the most.

pathetic. stupid.
for failing to make use of god given gift.
brain and eyes.

brain for couldn't understand reason behind my so called stupid act.

and eyes for couldn't see how much pain i'm in.
bleeding all over and still managed to walk in this corrupted condemned world of ours.

despite all this entangled pain that i'm constantly in.

i do smile. laugh.

too ego to cry in front of others.

but still
i can't stop this aching heart.
for i couldn't let my past go.
i'm used to it.
*sigh..

till..

god graciously lend me His angel.

angel on earth.

lend me an angel.

so i can breath.

smile with my heart.

and ease my throbbing pain.

my midnight sun..

but then...