You're Just Too Good To Be True

i use to believe that i wasn't good enough to be loved or to loved.
use to believe that ain't no one gonna love me for who i am 
since i wasn't all charming eye catcher kinda girl. 

I've been born with endless flaws
and been brought up in not so tranquil lovable environment.
been beaten up almost every single day.
and I can't cry.
coz cry and tears are for pussy.
for person who are weak and can't stupidly handle their own fucking problem.

apart from being abused during my childhood time.

love wasn't bringing me any good either.
guys usually end up ditch and dump me.
pervert and assholes.

all those thing had took a toll on me.
lead me to serious depressions and suicidal tendency.
cuts and slits are something that i live with.
abusing varies kind of meds and even planning to admit myself to nearest mental institute.

well.
lucky me.
to meet someone who ain't perfect
but we perfected each other.

found him when i stumble upon my deepest depression.

ever since then.
he had love me.
care and always there for me whenever i need him.
showed me true meaning of love.
never even dump me though i'm such a pain in the ass.
a bitch.

i guess i'm lucky.
to have someone who love me dearly despite all my flaws.
my pitch black past.

how i hope he will always be mine.
for i couldn't live a sec without him by my side.

i love him more than my own life.
love him and i can't even breathe if he went amuk and pissed with me.

sigh..

and now.
i miss him.
badly.

need to text him.