dreams remain dreams

dreams are wonderful.

and painful if it stay as dream due to time restriction or burden of life.

as a normal human being,
i also have dreams.
lots of it.
but am not sure if i ever gonna make it through and live my dream.

so, here goes nothing.

i dreamed to lead a life.
with me alone without family bullshit,housemate that ticking me off or mum that somehow will drive me crazy.

to wake up in my cozy small little house and enjoy the cold and peaceful morning with my favourite music.

to just live life without anything to worry.

dream to improve my fucked up life and yes to be free from all these burden that I've been carrying my whole life.

dream to go somewhere.
place with beautiful beach and pearly white sand.

dream to watch sunset with someone i love dearly and spend the rest of the night in his arm.
safe and sound.

dream to open a small place for homeless kitty and find them a good human with angelic heart to foster and love them unconditionally.

dream to do everything that i couldn't do when i was a kid since I've been living with abuser and fucked up step dad.

dream to treat my child as they should be treated so that they grow and become a happy cheerful yet independent with golden heart human being.
not some asshole jerk with abusive past.
and to provide them everything they deserve so that they doesn't end up like me.

above are my major dream.
my most significant and important dream.

a lifetime goal.

and now..
with this condition of mine..
am sure enough..
it'll remain as dream as i doesn't have enough time to make it come true..

sigh..

though i'm in terrible pain,
but then, the pain of knowing that i couldn't live to see the rest of the day are far more agonizing.

break me to pieces.