9months and counting..

Finally reaching the 9th milestone recently..

A bliss for both of us still madly in love with each other and still together despite the up and down that we've gone through..

As what shaz keep on telling,
That we're meant for each other..
Cursing and argued macam langit nak runtuh tapi still stick together and both refuse to leave each other..

Terharu bila found out that he's smiling while browsing through my pictures and appreciate all my presents no matter how petty it is..

Hugged mr.turtle and my shawl sampai tertidur..

Awwwhhh....
Adorable..
Rasa nak cubit2 je pipi moncet dia!!

Apparently I'm the  longest girl yang he's in relationship with.
Same goes here.
Lelaki pertama yang mampu tahan kerenah aku yang memang maha kaya pelik and annoying.

Aku pun langsung tak sangka unplanned friendship will create such a beautiful love.

Never thought both of us will share this love and deeply madly crave for each other..
Sampai tak boleh berjauhan langsung..
Melekat 24jam..

' happy anniversary lover..
Every girl need a pilot that will protect,care and guide them in this world full of darkness and thanks for choosing me as your co-pilot..'

Love is when we perfected our flaws with each other imperfections and create a perfect love that will last a life time..

I love you T.

Frustration

If only..
I was as perfect as others..
Adorable and graceful..

If only..
I can fulfil her needs..
Her request and dreams..

She told me..
That she love me..
But i can't help to think that I'm just an investment..
A tool for her to clung her claws..

Its painful..
To fail on becoming the best daughter as what she's been dreaming..

To fail on giving her everything that she could wish upon..

Its paycheck day..

She's asking so much as always..

Apparently I'll just need to spend the rest of my core leave in my tiny devastated room..

Sigh...

Emotionless

My life dah jadi kosong..
I don't have reason to stay alive anymore..
Everything feels excruciatingly painful..
Dark and empty..
Why should i live when i don't even have reason to live anymore..
What should i do to end this misery..

I wish...
I could end my life..
I wish I'm not the one who have to go through all this..
I wish yang semua ni mimpi..

Aku tak tahu apa yang aku harus lakukan..
Otak aku beku..
Susah benar untuk aku menumpang kasih..
Payah benar untuk aku merasa disayangi..

Aku tahu..dia sayangkan aku..
Aku tahu dia mencintai aku sepertimana aku mencintai dia..

Betapa aku harap apa yang berlaku,
Apa yang terjadi..
Hanya sebuah mimpi yang akan berakhir saat aku tersedar dari lena..

Kenapakah lama sungguh lena ini..
Sampai bilakah aku harus seperti ini..

Aku tak termampu untuk melepaskan dia pergi..
Tak termampu untuk terusi hidup,hari2 yang mendatang..
Dan..
Aku tak cukup kuat untuk hadapi semua ini..

Lalu..
Apakah yang harus aku lakukan..
Apakah jalan yang harus aku pilih..
Adakah penyelesaian bagi semua kemelut ini..

Aku buntu..

...

Feels like wanna slit..
Again..

Slits and feel the pain..

To feel the warmness of the blood and the beautiful pain..