I AM NOT AIMInG YOU!

dear ,
this entry is totally as a symbol of my undefining thought on your perception.
you know what,
you have change ..
there's once i respected you for not being so busybody in others people life and yet you've change!
i hate it okey?
not hating you but hate to who you become this past few months..
you aren't the girl i used to know.
eversince you have your new colony,
you acted so different and it question mark me.

dear,
on any thing that came out from my stupid mouth.
it is just a joke!!
i used to joke with you that way but why only now you said that it hurts when i say those things.
don't pin point other mistake and defending yourself.
don't pin point me by saying that i aiming you.
excuse me,
what is my reward for finger pointing at your life???
you hate and hurt when i ask those kind of question right??
then what about you??
have you ever consider others feeling when you stupidly saying and asking with not heart warming tone??
do you ever consider that you always hurt me when you give your comments??
do you never think what i may felt when you toyed around with what had happen to me??
do you ever rethink what you have done and how many person has hurt due to your uninsured mouth?
never??!!!
you have change and i really hate it!
please stop becoming who you are now and start behaving person who you used to be ..
person who not caring bout others personal life and person who not busybody enough till have to listen to every single thing that happen in class.
you are so no cool with this character.
hope you understand and change ..
i'm sorry ...

can't think perfect title for this entry :(

just a simple curiosity whether should i work out this relationship or should i just let it go?

he was sort of blaming me for did not have courage to go through but that doesn't mean that i didn't love him!

i love him! i need him but i can't sort out who are you really are. i never meet someone who can live by didn't msg neither call their love one more than one day. he's the only one who managed to survive and it give me a weird ackward feeling that he did not love me at all.

so, i bet all the girls would feel the same right?

just put yourself in my shoes, not even one day your lover didn't called or msg, you would pissed off and maybe break off ..

i regret when ending up our relationship because i wanted to give him another chance to make and start to act like we were lover, couple..

it was a big decision and i screwed up by using my heart instead of my brain judging and decided that we need to end this thing without realizing the fact that I Love Him ..

all this while, though he rarely contacted me and rarely there for me when I'm in deepest moment of my life but i was happy living in my own world and knowing i have someone out there ..

someone who i love and i care ..

someone who i truly miss ..

it kind of hard to explain but yup.. 

people who are in love are blind.

what should i do?

console him or just let him go ..

or try to talk to him again tonight??

give3 him chance that he suppose to get and give myself moment to know him better ..

guest what?
almost 14 days since last i wrote in definitely there's so much thing happened in my miserable life .
yup, me and my condemned hell life .
I've lost two of my friend. friend???? huh! more like pig actually.
but still my life is getting better and finally i get serenity and there are no stupid fucking gossip that linger in my life anymore.
just my debt with college that need to be settle if i want to continue studying here but its okay, though i have to quit and waste my almost three years time, i satisfied that i tried my best to complete and Allah has decided i wasn't meant here and my time here has finished.

anyway, i have to thank NurSyamimi Aina for changing my mind setting that nearly killing me.
she's the one who always use harsh word toward me but at the same time make me realize how silly and stupid i am on dealing with problem and stress out myself..
thanks to her also, finally i could breath easily in this chaotic life as a student who always facing problem especially with classmates ..
though sometime i sort of offended by her attitude but i keep saying to myself that it was me who over sensitivity and i tried to ignore all negative thought and feeling toward her coz she meant a lot to me..
she'll never know how deep is her impact toward me and my life and she never know how important she was to me.. though i was not count as one of her besties but i certain that she will always be my dearest friend ever.. time will part us apart and maybe just maybe i will never meet her as we graduating and has our own life still my memory to her will never fade .. my life, my perspective, my perception has change totally due to her and it was the most nicest thing that people ever done to me ..
20years living in hell and here she, the first person ever who made me see world in other positive perspective .. all this while, people always condemned and create gossip and killing my soul till it make me felt that my life is a mistake and i wish that i was never been born ..
i used to shed tears as i can't bear to live in this world for another day but now, i shed tears coz Allah has send me an angel to guide me and Allah has send her to protect me ..
i hope she'll never read this entry coz of sort of embarrassing if she find out .. (^.^)
she's an angel and i was one of the lucky person to meet an angel on earth ..

this is Miss Froggy Vampire

aq tataw kenapa otak aq serabut dua tiga hari ni.
aq bosan dgn hidup aq.knp???
ntahla... serabut..
aq nak balik kg,nk rehat n tenangkan fikiran.
aq xnak pk pape dah lg.
aq taw,selagi aq xsingkirkan dia dlm hidup,
selagi tu la dia akan terus timbulkan masalah pada aq n
selagi tu la hidup aq xkan aman.
aq bosan!!!
aq tak tahu r apa lg betian tu xpuas hati .
dh kau ckp kau xwujud n aq sendri pon dh mls nk cakap dgn babi cam ang,
aq wat jelah nota.sng.
aq xhbs airliur ang xsaket tlinga.
tp kau boleh lak amik nota tu jd alat wat org simpati kt kau!
ap lg yg kau nak??????
xcukup apa yg kau wat kt aq selama nih??!!!
kau nak aq mati ke baru kau puas hati??????
kau nak tgk aq mengemis cam babi ke baru kau berhenti jadi batu neraka??????
kenapa?KENAPA?????????????????

AKU BENCI KAU NEESHAJEET KAUR!!!!!!
AKU BENCI KAU!!!!!!!!

kau mmg setan!hidup kau semata2 nak celakakan hidup org.
aq benci kau!!!
3tahun kau wat hidup aq merana! 3tahun kau sepak aq kau pijak aq!!!!
xcukup lg ke??????
ap lg yg kau nak?????
aq benci betina cam kau!!!
sumpah dgn nama Allah aq harap btina kafir cam kau mampus!
MAMPUS!!!!!!!!!!!!