Pain

I thought i was immune to pain as pain has become my nature part of my life.
And i was wrong..

This is why i refuse to open up refuse to bare my soul to anyone.
This is why i doesn't want become attached with anyone.

I tried. I did tried.

I care too much..

It hurts..god it does..

Aku tak tahu macam mana nak describe how wounded i am..

I never wanted for him to hurt more that he ever did..
I never meant for him to feel worse..
I tried my best to give him time..
Space..
Not to push him not to suffocate him..

He said i was important to him
But now..somehow i doubt it..

I tried my best not to cry and stop this conversation befote its too late..
Before both of us say something hurtful to each other..
Words that could leave permanent effect..
I tried so hard not to cry..
I tried..
And i failed..

Kata2 dia..
Tak pernah gagal untuk lukakan aku..
Tak pernah gagal untuk buat aku menangis..
Tak pernah gagal untuk hancurkan hati aku yang sememangnya rapuh..

Kata2 dia..
Sakit...
Buat aku rasa untuk duduk disudut gelap dan sunyi..
Menangis..

Aku tak tahu apa lagi harus aku lakukan..
Semuanya salah dimata dia..
Semuanya tak kena..

I guess he was right..

He's alone.. So am I..

I will never understand his pain and for sure he never would understand mine..

The more both of us tried,
The greater the pain is..
The deeper the wound will be..

I promise with my very own tattered soul..
I would never ever burdened him with my ridiculous stupendous life nor problems..