IcE CoLd

as always, happiness simply like a rainbow.
comes when rain stop.

love life are never long lasting in my life and indeed felt so tired of waiting and searching.
seeing my friends happily in love with their partner, smiling....
having someone by them when there's trouble or unhappy event but me??
i got no one.
started to hurt myself using knife coz somehow blood washed all those pain.
person i was before was always a negative thinker and always saying and seeing negative side of people..
then ..
he came ..
out of blues and make a big turn off in my life ..
change that make me fall with him .. deep ..
never knowing never realizing ..
and it was to late when i finally came to my conscious that i love him ..
love him because he had put Allah love in my heart ..
started to solat after lived for almost 21years.
start to accept that Allah love me as well..

but still he never meant for me ..
he's somebody else soul mate ..
again i fall to a deep sea of lost ..
losing hope to everything again slashing my flesh to see those blood running freely ..
and somehow,finally realize that even though i have lost him but i still have Allah by my side.always.
indeed i miss him..
miss his jokes. .. his laugh.. everything bout him always had me smiling but redha that he never be mine.
glad that i know him glad that i had him though it just for a while ..

i know it will hurt seeing him with that girl but some love was meant to be together but it will always stayed forever in my heart.always.
assalammualaikum ..