Life Is A Lie, Death Is A Promise

My childhood is a mess.
Full of nasty word and abusive scars.

I never felt what love is.
Never knew how its like,
To feel the warmth of mother hug
To feel the serenity when mother kiss us.

I watched my friends
My cousins
How happy they are
To have a perfect family and to be love by parents

My life is just a piece of junk
Useless and empty.

I've been forced to sleep at stairs outside in the dark.
I've been left to die when i couldn't breath due to my fall and my chest hit a rock.

I've been beaten up with every possible means.

I learn to sleep with knife under my pillow
Trying to kill myself when i was twelve.

I swallow bunch of paracetamols
As i stumble in life

I was a useless daughter
Stupid as a monkey
Ugly as a pig.

I was the black sheep
Humiliate and bring nothing but bad luck.

As the pain become deeper
And unbearable it turn up

I started to cut my arms

Its the way for me
To punished myself for being a black sheep
For being an asshole
For being a useless daughter.

I deserved this pain
I deserved this wound
As its a symbol
For all the shamed .