Big Fat Ego

I've met lots and lots of manusia yang ego and tak boleh terima teguran .
they easily tick off if we try to amend their mistakes .

well ,
I've known this someone .
drown in ego and
" everything i did were right
and perfect " sea .

aku tak tahu macam mana
sebesar-besar ego ,
bongkak , angkuh , baran ,
paranoia , sensitif , up tight ,
cerewet and insecure could fit in that fragile old body.
she seems so fragile and weak.
people tend to believe that she's the same weak old woman on the inside.
person who knew her would know how look can mess with our mind.

she's a tempestuous old haggard.

nobody dare to say a word to her.
to amend her mistake or even try to change her attitude.
they just listened to her complaint and shut their fucking mouth out.
if they commented anything,
she'll become this monstrous old haggard and started to shout and scream.
and yes, cry.

due to her insensible act,
family cast us apart and refused to help in any means,
not that i want to.
they said i'm the exact copy blueprint of her temper and psychotic behaviour.
but i am not!!
i tried and keep on trying to become someone different,
someone that doesn't rely on other to get  what i want.
someone who work my ass out to get anything i dream off.
i'm not that someone who complaint when family refused to help, complaint how pathetic our life is.
person that keep on criticise other people and lack of self awareness.
you don't found me hanging around thinking how life could be better if i had money.
texting people how desperately poor i am.
and asking people to give me some money by crying my heart out.

i'm the independent one.
smile when i bleed.
laugh when i'm dying inside.
i work my ass to get whatever i want.
i kept my sorrow inside and had never cry even if sky falls above me.
and i fought defending myself when i need too.

i hate living with her.
to bow on everybody order.
to live life on other people will.
to stay silence when people acted in asshole way.

am the rebellious one.
the hot tempered with asshole attitude.
and i'm just being me.
and don't need other people acknowledgments on how to live my life.

its me all along and nobody in this fucking world could change me.