Despair

he touched my heart
when he told me
i'm not worthless..

make me cry
when he told me
i have him
each time i feel suicidal..

ask me to trust him
for he'll never leave me
no matter what happened..

and i did.

now..
i'm no longer his friend
meant nothing.
just an after memory.

every passing second,
i kept reading our text.
night that we shared together.
tears and laughter.

god knows,
how much i wanted to text him.
to told him,
i miss my bestie..
a lot..

but am afraid.
afraid of his rage.
his resentment toward me.
am terrified with the truth
that he hated me
and might scold me
if i text him..

i tried
and tried.
put myself up
and I've ended in this..
pitch black hole..
a throbbing pain..

he did hate me.